Five Common Mistakes Parents Make
by on 25/08/2014 2889
Also available in : Bahasa Malaysia 中文版
The most difficult thing about parenting must be the fact that there is no degree one can take in it, it does not come with any manuals on how to do it right and neither is there one perfect way to do it and get it right too. A daunting task where you sometimes question your own abilities and decisions, parenting is one roller-coaster ride that is full of surprises, good and bad, at every twist and turn. . Well, don’t fret over this any longer. Here, we have five solutions for you – avoid these five common mistakes all parents make and you will be well on your way to being the perfect parent you always wanted to be.
Be Calm
You will more than often face a situation with your child when you wonder how she is able to press all your buttons, all at once and get away with it. Your patience, already hanging precariously, takes a southward turn and is flung out of the window and the self that you see is someone you don’t recognize and someone you promised yourself you would never be. The next time this happens, tell yourself to take 10 deep breaths and not react to the situation. With each breath, release some of the frustration until you are calm. Then, deal with the situation. The outcome will be totally different from you having dealt with it full of frustration.
Be Consistent
The one thing that all human beings should have for a sane life is consistency. Be it adults or children, consistency when it comes to meal times, sleeping times, waking up times and study and play times is very important for our wellbeing. People, who don’t have consistent lifestyles often fall sick, are moody and depressed at times. If this is the effect it has on adults, imagine what inconsistency can do to children. Top pediatricians believe that if you have children who are of preschool age, introducing consistency and sticking to it is one gift that will go a long way for you and your child. A child will act out less often if regular activities like bed times, mealtimes and other routines do not get disrupted often. If you feed your child at 7pm every evening and decide to feed him at 8pm out of the blue, you will have one cranky child who is confused as to why he is hungry and not fed and who is upset because he is confused. Sounds familiar? Look at your child’s regular routines and get them in order.
Be Positive
Parents have a little habit of focusing so much on the negative things their child does, that the positive things are usually drowned in the ocean of criticism. Psychologists believe that when parents say things like ‘don’t drop it’, ‘don’t hit’, ‘don’t run’ or ‘don’t shout’, they are actually subconsciously enforcing that behavior. Instead of suing the ‘don’ts’, parents should use the dos – ‘Be careful with it, ‘ Love your sister’, ‘Let’s walk in here and you can run when we are outside’, and ‘talk softly because you have a lovely voice’ are some ways to inculcate positive behavior by having a positive outlook yourself. You will immediately be able to notice the difference your words make.
Be Reasonable
Parents today have this habit of getting their child to be the ‘over-achiever’. Imagine going to work, going to a Pilates class right after, having a snack and getting back at completing office work at home and finally doing house work. Sounds like a bit too much to you? Well, why would we then subject young children to this? Preschool, lunch, reading class, music class, dinner and homework. Let your child enjoy his childhood and enjoy his free time. Lining up his entire day with classes and activities will only wind him up and be whiny at the end of the day. Remember that play is one of the healthiest enrichment activity for children…..let them get enough of it.
Be There
Have you heard the familiar line from your preschooler ‘Mum, you don’t spend time with me.’ I recently heard it from my 10-year-old. I almost began to tell her how my every minute at home revolves around her, but bit my tongue, gave her a hug and pondered over this. I thought about how my time revolves around her – we do homework, we have dinner, shower time and bedtime…..but we don’t actually do much together, as in the fun aspect of things. We do get carried away with the daily grind. Set aside 30 minutes a day for one-to-one play or talk time and see the difference it makes in your lives.
Happy Parenting!
