Is Your Husband a Good Father?
by on 25/08/2014 2815
Also available in : Bahasa Malaysia 中文版
Taking care of kids is a job that many supposed as a woman’s job. And women are expected to be natural at this task. These statements, however, can’t be further than the truth as many parents learnt.
Raising children is a team’s work. Women sometimes, aren’t good at it and many struggle just to get through it. While some mothers do seem like they are born with the knack to handle kids, there are some fathers who seem more motherly than their spouses.
The role of a father in a kid’s life is undeniably important.
Sure, mothers seem to be good at everything from cooking their kids’ favorite meal to sewing a busted seam on their kids’ stuffed toys to painting the living room to gardening. But without fathers, there is no one to provide that pick-me-up strength when their kids lost a soccer game at school. Without a father, there is no one to show them how to ride a bike or how to shoot a basketball.
This is an important aspect of a child’s life for it teaches them to be strong and how to pick themselves up when they didn’t succeed at something. Mothers can do this too, of course, but somehow, there’s something soothing in a father’s deep voice that is calming and assuring for his kids.
So how does a husband be a good father?
Just like any aspect of parenting, there isn’t one exact answer. Every husband is different and how he is as a father also differs. Your husband may not win Husband of The Year Award but he may be a fantastic father to your kids.
But here are few indications where you can safely tell that your husband is a good father.
He’s There
Even if a father spends his day off by sleeping on the sofa while his children play in the living room, more often than not, that is enough for the kids. Many children is contented just by the fact that their father is around.
While some mothers tend to complain that their spouses don’t do much around the house on his off days, his presence in the house is rewarding for the children. The sense of security by being in the house and also the presence of another authority figure can help the children to feel safe. This is important in their psychological development for they have a father figure around with them to look up to.
He’s Affectionate with the Kids
Some fathers have a hard time expressing their love to their children. They are not as tender as mothers are and they tend not to do so much of the hugging and kissing the children.
Of course this doesn’t mean he doesn’t love them or that he’s a bad father.
But for husbands to be good fathers, he needs to show affection to his kids especially as his kids grow up.
Simple things like putting his kids to bed and kissing them goodnight, or maybe taking some time in the evening before bedtime to read storybooks to his kids. For older children, fathers can ask his kids how was their day at school, or take interest in his kids’ hobbies and encourage their passion.
Affection doesn’t have to be in the form of toys or gadgets for his kids. As a father who spends a lot of time at the office to earn for his family, the most important thing for his children is his time with them.
He’s Used to Having the Kids Around
Some men can take a while to get used to having children. He may miss the time he can spend with his friends whenever he wants or maybe the fact that he can go wherever he wants with you without having to worry about who’s going to take care of the kids.
But for husbands who get used to doing things with his kids around tend to be better fathers as they don’t feel his children are limiting his activities. The more places he goes with his children the more he is used to doing things with them.
He Gives You a Time Out
The role of a father and mother though similar, can be quite different.
Husbands who give their wives time out or a break every once in a while, are often quoted as good fathers because by allowing their wives some time out, the role of a parent is taken over by the husbands.
Mothers don’t really want to leave their kids if they have that choice. But doing housework day in day out for months on end can stretch a mother thin and wear her out. So when her husband gives her some space for her own quality time, she will feel appreciated and loved that she in turn will be a better mother too.
He Enjoys the Moment
Kids grow up too fast and before the both of you know it, your children will be off to college.
Fathers who love watching their kids grow up and see that his kids antics are part of them growing up are usually described as good fathers. He doesn’t get angry easily and handled his kids attitude cooler than his wife does are fathers who enjoy the moment and the memories he gets from his children.
This doesn’t mean he’s too lenient with them that his children can get away with everything. But husbands who are loving yet strict when he needs to often make good fathers.
He Loves You
His love for you can be the strongest motivation for him to be a good father.
He doesn’t want to see you stressed out every day or he doesn’t want you to see your role as a mother as a job. He shows his appreciation with loving words or through an occasional romantic getaway or treat. He may feel he’s not doing enough to show his love for you but you need to assure him that his words and actions are more often than not, enough for you to feel loved and appreciated.
Husbands who understand that expensive gifts don’t necessarily mean love are more treasured by their wives. This can lead to a healthy marriage that contributes to each being a good parent without them even have to try.
As John Wooden wrote, “The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”
As for wives, don’t forget to encourage every effort your husband make with your children and compliment him when he did something significant in your kids’ lives. Just like mothers, fathers too need to feel appreciated in what he’s doing for his kids.
